10 Steps to Killing a Chicken - written by Hercules

As a special Mother's Day gift I decided to go big or go home and seeing as home wasn't an option, big it was.  So I killed a chicken.  The process of killing a chicken goes as follows. 

1) You decide which chicken to kill.  Which I'm still a little uncertain as to how you determine this, some say the oldest, some the youngest, some the biggest, some the meanest, whatever your style. 

2) You capture said chicken.  Harder than it seems.  Generally sneaking from behind is the best tactic. 

3) Hold the chicken upside down.  They are mas o menos limp and tranquilized, still not sure of the science behind this but they are calm.

4) You yank the head to break its neck and within 30 seconds it is dead. Sorry, gross.  

5) Once it's dead you put it in boiling water for about a minute or two to be able to pluck all the feathers out. 

6) You pluck the feathers out while tied up by its feet. 

7) You remove the last hairs by holding it over a fire to burn them off.

8) You take pictures to show all your proud family and friends.

9) You cut it up.  I was told I'm not competent enough to do this part yet, which is probably accurate but here's the final product.  

10) You cook it and you eat it.  

And there you have it, 10 simple steps and you won't be buying chicken breast from the store any longer!  Also, the most supportive sister award goes to Sierra.  Gotta freak someone out :-) love you so much pretty! Love, Hercules