My not so shiny job title

Have you gotten your job yet?  Have you found out your project yet?  I've been asked this by all of my family and friends back home pretty regularly over the last few weeks. And for good reason.  You're probably wondering my purpose in Paraguay, what I'm going to do, how I'm going to save the world.  And it's been a long time, just passed the 6 month mark here in country and I'm sure you all have accomplished the world back in the states in the past 6 months.  People are getting married, having babies, going to college, getting jobs, going on fun vacations, and the works.  But I'm here to tell you that here in Paraguay it's different.

I will never receive my "job title". I will never be gifted a 2 year project to work on.  And that's why Peace Corps is different than a lot of other volunteering organizations.  In other organizations you build a house, bring running water, run an orphanage or soup kitchen, build modern bathrooms, etc.  And those are fabulous projects, meeting the basic needs of many people around the globe.  But Peace Corps is different.  We aren't equipped with supplies to donate, we aren't here with a specific project to do in the community, we don't have money to support the community.  We are here with the biggest resources we have, ourselves.  Our knowledge, patience, persistence, motivation, skills, and love.   

So I was placed in my cute little campo community, Cordillerita, about 4 months ago with the goal of helping the people.  That's it.  That's why we join the Peace Corps.  We want to help improve the lives of people around the world, but what we dont know is just how much we will be helped in return.  

We come in wanting to save the world, but we actually don't.  We help the world save themselves. We work with their own local governments, elect community leaders, motivate people to better their own lives.  We can't save people that don't need to be saved.  

And it's frustrating when people wait for you to swoop them up and save them.  And it's also heartbreaking when you can't give an instant solution like water, houses, or food.  And sometimes you feel useless and worthless with just you and your own thoughts and actions trying to help a community of 1,700 people waiting to be helped.  

But I'm here to show them little by little how to stand up for themselves, believe in themselves, work hard together, seek out their own resources, inspire them, and pass on whatever knowledge and skills I have to those who want to listen.  And there are many different ways of doing that and every volunteers service is drastically different because it is dependent entirely on the volunteer and their community.  

So my little Cordillerita will hopefully soak up all the knowledge I have to give them and motivate themselves, form their own comissions, instill passion in their youth, educate their families and friends, and feel a sense of power and belonging in the world.  

So to answer your question, no I'll never be given a shiny project to do.  But through using me myself and I as a resource I've started a few things in my community that I hope to encourage more and more people to jump on.  

1) an English class for the youth.  Although I never wanted to teach English and honestly am not really sure how, I started my classes last week because the youth really want to learn and having a knowledge of basic English gives them tons of job opportunities. 

2) next week I will begin a life skills course from making good decisions to sexual education with the older kids in my school

3) I held my first community meeting where we decided on chicken coops and family gardens that the women wanted so we will be working to get materials and fundraise to make these projects happen.

4) i am starting a nutrition/type 2 diabetes/high blood pressure group to get the doctor and nurse more involved in health outreach in my community

 

5) I'm on the planning committee for a girls empowerment camp this Paraguayan summer which should be spectacular!

And thats it for now.  So a lot of it is small talk, experiencing the culture, making relationships, passing the days away in hammocks, and using the little teachable moments as the most successful.  And I am loving it.  

How much do you weigh?

You're probably uncomfortable already from just reading the title of this post.  But get comfortable because there is no such thing as personal information in Paraguay.  At all.  Upon meeting someone common questions in the states would be whats your name? What do you work in? Where do you live? But here in Paraguay I can count on one hand the number of times I've been asked my name.  I'm thinking its because as I've written about before Paraguayans in the campo generally don't leave their communities and probably dont go anywhere except their neighbors houses for weeks at a time.  So everybody knows everyone all too well which makes for a lot of gossip but also very close relationships.  They know who cooks what on what days, which sopa they use for laundry, how much money they make, what color their underwear....everything.  So because they know everybody they don't have experience meeting new people, until me.  This crazy American walks into their lives completely helpless, barely speaking the language, and expecting to "help them". And so naturally they aren't used to the normal get to know you questions and instead dive in deeper right off the bat.

Common questions to be asked are: 

1) how much do you weigh?

2) do you have a boyfriend?

3) are you happy?

4) why don't you have a baby?

5) how much money do you make?

6) how much money do your parents make?

7) why don't you want a Paraguayan boyfriend? My nephew is available. 

8) you've gained weight, haven't you?

And so many more.  And i kid you not, these are within minutes of meeting someone.  But more often than not they actually talk amongst each other about you instead of asking you directly which now that I understand has been very interesting to listen to.  

This is a situation that happened yesterday in between a Señora I call cigarette lady who I will tell you more about later, cigarette lady's mom, and a señora #3 who I had never met, and me.  

Señora #3: who is that?

Cigarette lady: an American. 

Señora #3: what is she doing?

Cigarette lady: she just watered her garden.  She is super hard working.

Señora #3: very hard working. Does she speak guarani?

Cigarette lady's mom: she speaks great guarani.

Cigarette lady: super great guarani.  She is so hardworking.

Señora #3: she speaks guarani! Wow! Awesome! (Pause...) she is large.

Cigarette lady: very large for a young lady. 

Cigarette lady's mom: super large. Just very very large.

Señora #3: she is fat.  

Cigarette lady: very fat.  

Cigarette lady's mom: very fat for a young lady.

Señora #3: she waters her garden every day?

Cigarette lady: every day.

Señora #3: she is so hard working.  And gorgeous hair! Is it natural?

Cigarette lady: natural.  So beautiful! 

Cigarette lady's mom: (stroking my hair) just drop dead gorgeous.

So i bet through reading that you probably felt my pain and awkwardness from afar.  Now picture yourself sitting down to tea with this conversation. I sit there and smile as they talk about the very large, hardworking, beautifully blonde American.  

Camp! Paraguayan style...

Life has been busy.  In a good way.  But to catch you all up, last week I went to camp!!!! And you all know that I love camp.  love camp.  So much.  And to have my first camp experience Paraguayan style was fabulous! There are a variety of camps that Peace Corps Paraguay runs throughout the summer and winter breaks for youth throughout the country and I just want to go to all of them!!

The first one I went to was HIV/AIDS which sounds oddly similar to my experience with camps before....one time, at chronic illness camp.  But this time it wasn't kids with HIV/AIDS, there was no emotional support, no you can do this needed from the counselors. But it was kids who came because they wanted to learn how to prevent HIV, they wanted to learn how to support people with HIV, they wanted to educate people in their communities about HIV/AIDS.  And that says a lot about Paraguayan future.  How giving and supportive they are, how eager to learn.

I went to camp because I have type 1 diabetes. Because I wanted to feel normal, because I wanted to better myself, because I wanted to be empowered, to have people listen to me about how hard life is, to feel understood.  And camp did all that for me and more.  But that's just it...i did it for me.  And granted, the camper to counselor switch was definitely a totally different mindset and I liked being a counselor far more than a camper but to see youth at this HIV/AIDS camp excited and motivated to learn was incredible.  Can you imagine if a 12 year old went to a camp to learn about diabetes when they or nobody they knew had it themselves in the states?  Thats just what these kids did.

And we had a lot of great speakers, did a lot of self and group development sessions, did a few activities from grassroots soccer (really cool program you should google) and most of all, just like any camp...had fun, built amazing relationships, and were empowered. 

We stayed in cabins, ate in the dining hall, had scheduled activities, dance parties, campfires, cleaning schedules, counselors and all that camp jazz.  It was only 3 days, but for Paraguayans who generally don't leave their neighborhood, nevermind travel across the country thats a huge deal! 

So I learned a lot, and got my camp dose in for a while and am looking forward to planning and attending other camps in the future!

And a shout out to all my CBC loves.  Keep finding all those smiles :-)

6 months!!

How do you measure a year in the life? Or half a year? I just passed the 6 months in Paraguay mark and as always it has me thinking! Life is so slow in Paraguay yet 6 months has flown by.  I went from a little helpless girl who couldn't wash her clothes or boil water nevermind communicate in the least to a strong independent young lady with her own dirt lawn to sweep and teaching in a second and third language.  I can't usually see my day to day progress but looking back to the beginning to where I am now, it's crazy to see how far I've come.  So I've decided to summarize with one word each of the months I've been in Paraguay thus far.

February: Friends.  Everything was new and exciting in the peace corps life and although I missed my friends and family back home a lot of my time was spent getting to know and making friends with my gmates.

March: Travel.  This month we did a couple of volunteer visits and trips to asuncion so I became acquainted with traveling on buses with massive bags and no street signs anywhere.  

April: Shock. This was definitely my toughest month. I felt so alone and isolated after being sent to my community and had no idea what I was getting into. 

May:  Brave.  I did a lot of uncomfortable things this month like meeting new people all the time, putting myself out there with my language and trying to become a part of my community.  

June:  Explore.  I went to a lot of different places in my community and surrounding communities.  I explored my options for work and also went for "long" runs to the fields just to get away from it all and explore.

July:  Comfort.  I felt wanted in my community, moved into my own house, got to know more people and got past the awkward stage with a lot of relationships.  I feel confident in who I am here in Paraguay. 

And that's a short but sweet summary of my first 6 months in Paraguay.  I've definitely had my ups and downs but I am so unbelievably excited for whats to come!  Thank you all for your constant love and support!  As the song says, you measure your life in love :-).  I couldn't do it without you!!! Lots of love headed your way!