I miss you!

Life has been pretty tranquilopa in Paraguay these past few weeks.  It was winter break at the school so nothing going on there and I'm awaiting our project management training in the beginning of august to try and start any big projects in my community. It has been pretty chilly, nothing terrible, but am definitely making the most of the warm clothes I brought. So needless to say, I've been left with a lot of time to seek out guapo project contacts and get to know people in my community.  And also a lot of time to reflect. To think. To picture my life. To miss home.  To miss you.  

I was hesitant to write this post because I don't want you to think I'm unhappy. I'm actually at a really good dreaming stage of my service where I am excited about projects to come and know enough people in my community where I feel really comfortable.  But at the same time I miss home a lot.  A lot.  And I just wanted you all to know that.  

Is it harder to be the one to leave? Or the one to stay? I don't know.  Obviously, I'm gonna go on the side of leave but really I just have more experience with this.  And I've been thinking about how long two years is.  It's a good chunk of time and a lot can and will change in that time.  

And I sometimes find myself jealous or wanting to be in the states when I hear about all the fun things that are happening but who am I to complain? I chose to leave.  And I have to accept that just because I left doesn't mean the beautiful world I left behind stops.  It can't.  And I also have to accept that people may or may not be just fine without me.  And that this was my choice to do this.  To leave the known for the unknown.  

Paraguayans always ask me if I'm happy here.  And I answer yes no matter what, mostly because negative conjugations of verbs in guarani is complicated. But generally I'm telling the truth.  And then they always ask me if I was happy in the states.  And I immediately say yes.  The they ask why I left if I was so happy.  And it gets me thinking. 

I don't regret coming here in the least.  I love new experiences and this has been the most challenging and self discovery one I've done so far.  But I want you to know how much I love hearing about your lives and staying in touch through snail mail, email, facebook, texting, whatever it may be.  And I value so much the relationships I have that I know upon my return will be stronger than ever.  

And maybe I traded happy hours for cooking lessons, beach runs for sweeping my dirt lawn, burritos for fried bread, cars for buses, target for my little town store.  But the most comforting thing and the thing I miss most above all....even frozen yogurt, is you guys.  

I miss you tons and thanks for your support!!! Lots of love!!!