Go ahead and save the world, will ya?

Think about all aspects of your life right now.  What comes to mind? Your job? Family? Friends? America? The English language? Food? Car? House? Technology? Hobbies? Frozen yogurt and burritos (if you’re sane)?

Now take that all away…. What are you left with? 

Yourself.  The good parts of yourself.  And the bad.  The highs.  And the lows.  (I love diabetes puns). 

And myself was all I came to Paraguay with.  And a few pairs of clothes and shoes.  And I didn’t know this at the time.  The thought hadn’t crossed my mind until recently how much I left behind. 

I’m starting from nothing.  I am creating my own work.  I am observing a community with so many different wants and needs and hoping to find a match with what I want and know how to do.  I have no guidance.  I’m finding my new coworkers.  I make my own schedule.  I set my own goals.  I do my own reviews.  I’m 100% in charge of myself. 

I decide whether to get up in the morning.  I decide whether to study Guarani and Spanish or watch a movie.  I decide whether stay in my campo site or visit the city.  I decide everything about my life.  Which in some ways is empowering.  Self-motivation is an interesting thing.  Me, myself, and I are my motivation. 

Would you go to work if you were to get paid the same amount whether you went or not?  Would you bother to talk to someone if you only understood a quarter of the conversation?  Would you walk into a room full of strangers with the only goal of making a friend?  Would you put yourself out there?  Would you challenge yourself? Would you take steps knowing you wouldn’t see progress for months or even years?  Would you do anything at all?  If nobody made you or wanted you to.  What if nobody even knew except yourself?

The Peace Corps is crazy.  You come into a community with no family, no friends, no job, no house, barely ability to communicate, completely different food, and rickety old buses that run once a day if it’s not raining.  And you have to make something out of it.  You have to make big things happen.  Like save the world status big things.  And it’s scary.  And intimidating.  Yet exciting.  And inspiring. 

Every day I get out of bed is an accomplishment.  Because I didn’t have to.  And nobody would know if I didn’t.  And the impact I make is miniscule most days.  But over my 2 year service with a little luck the miniscule will turn into something.  Something that I will remember.  Something my community will remember.  A little piece of Paraguay will be changed.  And a little piece of me too.  We hope.