Don't let it fool you...

Our first three months in site our one and only job is to integrate.  We went from having every hour of our lives scheduled during training to being told “just integrate” and we’ll come back in four months to discuss your sites.  We’re not supposed to start any projects, but solely just to get to know the people in our communities.  Because of our supposedly achieving American personalities we were given a census to do where we ask 50-60 families about issues regarding health, make a map of the resources in our community and write a report on where the community is at in the beginning of our service.  But given my experience in college I can write that report on one rainy afternoon so basically you have to fill your time in an unproductively project way while at the same time a productive relationship building way. 

It’s been a week in site today (Saturday, April 19^th) and I do not have internet in site so that’s why this is late.  So far it’s been pretty hard.  I am a first time volunteer in my community so most people have never met someone that isn’t Paraguayan before.  Everything from their refusal to believe that my hair color is natural to the fact that they ask me if I understand all of English because they don’t get that in other parts of the world Spanish and guarani are not spoken, their lack of patience with guarani because they’ve never tried to learn another language, them asking if I came to Paraguay on a bus, to what am I doing here. 

So it’s been a whirlwind of a week of emotions.  I’ve met a solid amount of people but seeing as our only job is to meet people my achieving American personality thinks I should get out of bed on this rainy day and meet some more people.  But by meet I mean I sit there and smile while the other people talk about me.  But that’s about all I can do right now.  I am definitely not confident in either language so hopefully that will improve.  I started a book where each page is going to be the recipe for a traditional Paraguayan dish with a photo of the cook and the food too.  It’s an “integration project” that I randomly thought of with a little bit of self-esteem on the side with the photos.  So far I only have one entry but more will come.  Cooking is a fun way to pass time because it gives you something to do, will be highly useful for when I live on my own, not much language is required (hand motions work wonders), and is something Paraguayans take a lot of pride in.  

I’m also searching for a place to live on my own for after but haven’t been successful and I’m hoping this coming week to start a garden at my contact’s house because it’s already fall here and the more vegetables the merrier. 

So yea, definitely some ups, also some downs.  Paraguayans aren’t big on showing emotions so when I was crying at my grandma’s house on my birthday morning they just ask why are you crying and then let you be because they’re not used to it.  But without internet, and my phone service was down because of a storm so I couldn’t even talk to friends in Paraguay I was feeling lonely and therefore sad.  But I later received a message from my contact and one of my guarani professors that made me feel very loved.  I also made banana bread with my sister which was delicious to her surprise.  And I received a used, quite dirty, apron from my grandmother and a pair of very pink much too small pants from my family.  So all in all, not such a bad birthday after all.  First breakdown of I’m sure many….

Integrating is hard people.  Don’t let it fool you.