Paraguayan Pancakes

Woah.  I have never been on a crazier rollercoaster of emotions than now.  One day, no hour, no minute I’m bawling my eyes out and the next I have all the confidence in the world and feel so Paraguayan I forget what burritos taste like (obviously I don’t considering every third blog post I mention burritos…mmmmm).  I’m going to be all positive right now like that obnoxious person that tells you everything happens for a reason when your smartphone falls in the toilet and focus on the good.  So here is a list because my brain is far too exhausted from the constant jopara language situation to form complete thoughts in English...or really any language for that matter.

 1) I have a bomb.com 94 year old friend that speaks rapidly in Guarani to me and doesn’t have a care in the world when I don’t understand anything.  She keeps talking with her walking stick in one hand and her machete in the other.  Keep rocking on Ña Maria, I love your style.

     

      2) My doctor (cute, mind you) speaks English.  Yup, English.  He uses words like oblivious and phrases like “My english is rusty”.  And says the word “like” every five seconds.  Just like me.  He uses English slang.  Fluent I tell you.  Oh my god.  Never been more attracted to someone in my entire life.  We talked about Burger King.  A lot.  Yes, Sierra, he is fully aware that you basically manage Burger King.  And that will be where he proposes so don’t you worry.  With a ridiculously rico (delicious) vanilla milkshake.  Okay, you get the point.

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      3) I made my first joke in Guarani.  Which keep in mind it is highly difficult to make any sassy, obnoxious, slightly rude comments like I would in English with a vocabulary that is limited to “how many years do you have?” and “where do you live?”.  And granted the joke was simply a scream showing my reaction to the cow foot that was placed on my plate this afternoon with a little “Mba’epa koa?” (what is this) on the side.  Four ladies were laughing way more than they probably should have been but all in all success.

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     4)  I made a baby smile.  That sounds creepy all by itself so I guess I’ll just add this sentence after to try and reduce the creepiness.  Nope, still weird.

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     5)I can now successfully take someone’s blood pressure.  I’m basically a nurse.

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     6) I don’t mind washing my clothes by hand.  It’s kind of therapeutic and I feel very accomplished when they’re on the line to dry. 

     

     7)  I made pancakes…twice.  Without a spatula, and over a fire.  Just call me the Pancake Queen.

     8) I did a pirouette with a 4 year old….and she was impressed.  Thanks for all those dance lessons Mom and Dad.

     

      9) I milked a cow, again successfully.  I’m just one big ball of success right now.

     

     10) An 11 year old girl literally started crying when I told her I’m from the states because she thinks I know Justin Bieber.  I confirmed that yes, he lives in my house.

     

     11) I may have found a potential house to live in after a couple of months with this family.

     

     12) I hiked to a waterfall.

     

     13) I became friends with a sweet taxi driver, so when all of you come to visit and don’t want to ride the Paraguayan buses with your bags I’ve got it all sorted out.

And that about wraps it up.  And that helped.  Because now I just feel like I can’t imagine a better week.  When you’re up you’re up.  Hope you guys are crazy successful at home and if you’re feeling like you’re not just wander around until someone invites you into their home to eat fried bread.  That always does the trick for me.  Love you and all of your successful selves.  Miss you terribly.