Changing things up

To get a little break from Paraguay and to spend time with friends during my first Christmas outside the US I went on vacation in Uruguay!  Hanging on the beach all day every day, more to come as soon as my Internet is fast enough to get some pictures up.

I was away from my community for two weeks exactly which was the perfect amount of time for a break.  And when I came back after the two weeks I expected the "it's been so long" and "you brought me a gift, right?" Comments that I get even when I go to Asuncion on a day trip. But in reality I didn't actually expect anything to be different. 

But it was. The obvious physical things...Dead bugs had taken over my entire house, the grass needed to be cut...again,  my flowers had grown even taller, Mimosa seemed triple her size, it seemed like everyone and their mother had painted their house a new color which threw me for a whirl, my 5 year old neighbor had a new bicycle that he was proud to show off, Mimosa was more of a snuggler than ever before refusing to sleep anywhere but on my chest, the neighbors cheesy rice tasted different than I remembered,  the mangos are falling off the trees like crazy, the bus schedule had changed, my neighbor turned 6, my hot water connection broke, and so much more.

And all that happened in 2 weeks, I  can't help but wonder what will change in two years. I'm often comforted by people starting conversations off with "not much is new here" because it makes me feel like I'm not missing anything by being here in Paraguay. But with a bunch of my friends going to America for the holidays, I also am scared to admit how much is changing in the States and even more how much I'm changing. 

Part of me wants nothing to change at home.  I want to eat at the same burrito places, lay on the same beaches watching the sunset, have the same sassy conversations with my friends, talk on the phone instead of always on What's app, work with the same cool kids, and line dance my life away without skipping a beat.

But then the other part of me acknowledges that I'm very good at adapting to change, that I would even go as far to say that I like change.  I'm not a fan of routines and the flexible peace corps schedule has really confirmed that for me.  Change is good, more often than not. At least for me it is. And so while I like to pretend that the world has stopped and generously agreed to wait 27 months for me to return,  maybe I need to accept that things are going to be different.  That I am different,  way different. I have serious trouble having a conversation completely in English, I notice things I never used to like which trees have fruits and when, I enjoy staying in one spot....A lot, I walk slow. Very slow, I revolve my life around the weather,  I judge people on their appearance,  I like a freshly swept lawn and home, I see McDonald's as a very special occasion, I don't wince a bit at the killing of animals, I eat steak...a lot of it, I feel uncomfortable and like a rich white girl when I ride in a car, anything less than 4 hours is a quick trip, nothing gives me more joy than freshly washed laundry, I end every conversation  with I'll see you later and I rarely mean it, I prefer Spanish music over English,  I drink cheap light beer and I refuse to drink wine without being mixed with coke, I stare at people, I greet every person I see....and I mean everyone, I've lost all concept of time, i take very little personally, I feel relaxed and accomplished more than not and often at the same time, my feet have to be clean...always, I have the most patience I've ever had, enjoy napping, and wouldn't want a life anything less than tranquilo.

And that's what scares me. It hasn't even been a year and I feel like I've changed so much. And I'm sure you all have too. And it will be hard returning but I just have to remember that I like change. And more often than not, change is good.

So let the world keep on turning, the tides rising and falling,  the people smiling,  and the joy spreading and everything else can change poco a poco, little by little. 

Keep me updated on everything friends! I love hearing from you! Lots of love from Paraguay!